If I Take One More Step...

You know that scene in The Fellowship of the Rings when Sam stops and makes his grand statement of, "This is it, if I take one more step it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been."

I just hit the two week mark of being in Thailand and these last few days I've started to feel a bit of a funk. It's the funk that hits when something isn't as new and shiny as it once was. It's the funk that hits when you are already tired of school and it's only the first week. It's the funk that hits when you have spent too much time with your BFF and you are starting to get on each other's nerves.

"But this is the thing I was so looking forward to having!"
"But I've been looking forward to school starting all summer!"
"But this is the person I enjoy spending time with!"

WHY AM I FEELING THIS WAY?!

I was thinking about that today and it dawned on me that I am approaching the point in most of my trips when I begin to head back to the states. But I'm not heading back- not for a long time. And it reminded me of that moment when Sam realizes that he is about to step into a place he had never stepped into- out of his comfort zone.

I'm sharing this because I think is something real that we can all struggle with at times. But how do we continue to choose life when life becomes mundane?

Now, some of you may be thinking, how is life becoming mundane for you?! You live in Thailand! Everything should be new and an adventure! True. But my mundane becomes familiar patterns of my flesh- things like fear, insecurity and jealousy. And now that I have had some time to settle, I've noticed that those things have tried to creep in.

But I just want everything to be fun and exciting and I just want everyone to be happy and get along!

But life is messy. It just is. And sometimes I think we live under the illusion that if we were in a different place or with different people then things would be better. But it seems like our mess follows us!

So what am I getting to? I am getting to an acknowledgement that life is messy and I don't like to feel out of control. Sometimes I don't even know why it feels messy, it just does. But what I am choosing to hold on to is that God loves our mess. He does. He died for it. And He invites me everyday to choose Him again and again and again and again. And to be honest, I find it harder to choose Him when I don't feel so messy. When everything feels shiny and new and exciting, I sometimes forget that I really, really need Him. And not only do I need Him, but I need to be spending time with Him every day. So that's what I'm challenging myself to do over this next week. I am challenging myself to press in to spending time with God. And if you feel comfortable, I'd like to challenge you to do the same, however that looks.

One week in Thailand: My Heart is Full

I have now been in Thailand one week. So much has happened.

I was blessed to spend the weekend with an amazing family who has lived here for a while. It was refreshing to be around a family with younger kids. We spent the weekend hanging out, eating good food, watching American movies and TV shows, and going to church.

Riding in the truck

The boy loves his 8 baht McDonald's Ice Cream Cone! ($1 USD is about 35 baht so these cones are about a quarter!)

At the Night Bazaar

 Something that has helped me through this first week has been finding as many familiar things as I can in a foreign land. People might have different opinions on how to adapt to a new culture. Some might think it's necessary to totally jump in and do everything the locals do in order to adjust. While I want to honor the culture, I have found it helpful to get excited about little things like watching American movies and shows, eating pizza, decorating my room with things from the US, and playing board games with friends. These things are so refreshing and help me be up for adventure when I am adjusting to a new culture, instead of constantly being bombarded with new things 24/7.

I mentioned decorating/setting up my room... here are a few pictures :)

The mat was here already... notice the colors (hint, green and gold)

Finding creative ways hang my scarves, couldn't leave home without good ol' BU

some of my favorite books from home... choosing which books to bring was so hard!! 

My desk with Baylor Bear :)

My bed with my Baylor t-shirt blanket... it's like I brought a lot of Baylor stuff or something.

 Another thing that has been such a huge blessing here has been the community. I live in a neighborhood that is set up like a little grid (kind of like a gated community in the states except it has one street down the middle with about 6 or so streets that branch off on the right and left). What's cool is that so far I know families from 6 houses in this little neighborhood and every house is no very far. It is the perfect set up for community! There are families from the school as well as other faring (foreigners) and locals. I am looking forward to meeting more of my Thai neighbors as I see them and learn more Thai.

5 of us got together last night to play Ticket to Ride

 The experiences I have had and the people I have been with have made my heart so full this past week. But I think what has filled me up even more is realizing what I get to do. For one, where I work is absolutely beautiful.

This is the view outside the music room

Today we had our first day of new teacher orientation and it was such a blessing. I love the heart and vision of this school. I love that this school values community and family- not just between the teachers but also between the students and their families. Some people might not be comfortable with those boundaries- but it is how I grew up and it is how I thrive. I love that I get to be friends with parents and have relationships with students outside of school. Here we are encouraged to invest in these kids well and be open about our lives. We are encouraged to ask for help and be as creative as possible. 

It is a great community and I truly feel blessed that God has brought such a good fit for me. I will say this over and over again, but thanks to those of you who continue to pray and give to make all of this possible- as someone said to me this weekend, "Here, you truly have the opportunity to impact nations."

The First 48 Hours

I AM HERE!!

wow, I can't believe it!

Just in case you've ever wondered what one would do as they make a big move like this, I'd thought I'd give you a glimpse into what the first 48 hours were like.

Monday Morning, August 10

• Arrived at the airport with 2 suitcases, 4 crates, a guitar, and 2 carryons. My flight was delayed 7 hours because of the typhoon in Taiwan so I had to work with the airline to get some flights rescheduled. 
• They were able to check my bags all the way to Chiang Rai, what a blessing to not have to get them until I get there! (for those of you unfamiliar with international travel, it is not uncommon to have to collect your bags during a layover and recheck them again).
• Said goodbye to mom and dad. This was hard. Please continue to pray for our family as we are separated for the next few years!
• Got on the plane and was blessed with a  window seat and an empty seat between myself and another guy traveling to Thailand who was from Austin (it was nice to have someone who was friendly and spoke English sitting close by!)

I was in the air for 15.5 hours!! I slept off and on, watched some Disney movies and Star Trek (some of my favorites), and enjoyed the Hello Kitty plane!

Tuesday Afternoon, August 11

• Because of the time change, we landed in Taipei, Taiwan on Tuesday afternoon. I had an unexpected 10 hour layover so I decided to get out and see parts of Taiwan! It was nice to just be outside and stretch my legs. I also made a friend and we were able to go out and see the city together. 

  

  At the big Taipei night market

  
  

  

  Delicious, fresh pineapple. The fruit here in this part of Asia is AMAZING

  
  

  

  Sites from the bus ride into town

  

  Interesting art in the metro station... I read a sign and I think it was supposed to depict taking the time to be whimsical in the midst of every day life... interesting 

Wednesday Morning, August 12th

• After several flights and layovers, I finally made it to Chiang Rai! All of my bags made it except one which I was pleased about (it was also the bag that had the least important stuff in it). I connected with one of the families from our team and we headed to their house so I could have time to shower and freshen up.

• I had a challenging day ahead due to the fact that I was very tired from not having a normal nights sleep in almost 3 days, but I knew I would need to stay up until bedtime to help my body adjust to the time change (we're 12 hours ahead!). The family did a very good job of helping me stay awake.
• In order to help me stay awake, we did the following activities around town:
• go to the mall to have lunch and set up my iPhone. SIM cards here are relatively inexpensive and I want to thank the individual back home who graciously donated their old iPhone so I could have a good phone... you know who you are :)
• I had my first Big C experience. Big C is a store that is very much like Walmart. It was neat to be able to go around and see what kinds of things I will be able to get here. There are actually a lot of things here similar to what we would get in the states so I will not be lacking :)
• We went by the school where I will be teaching and then to my neighborhood to see my townhouse. It is a cute little neighborhood and several other Farang (westerners) and teachers from school live there. I was able to meet a few of my neighbors, including a couple who just moved here last week to teach at the school. I think we will connect well since we are both so new and learning everything for the first time. 
• Then we went back to the house to have dinner and then I finally got to go to sleep and slept a good 12 hours!

driving around Chiang Rai

That's what it looked like for the first 48 hours! Over the next several days I will be visiting other places around town, purchasing a bike, staying with another missionary family over the weekend, and moving into my townhouse before orientation starts next Wednesday. 

Thank you all for your support, love, and prayers. This is certainly an adventure and it still blows my mind to think that this will be my home for the next 2 years (it still feels like a "trip"). 

Blessings,

Kassie

*If you are ever wondering if you can still give, the answer as of now is absolutely yes. Please contact me for more information. 

#ThailandTuesday: God's Provision

First, I want to say that THIS IS MY LAST #THAILANDTUESDAY IN THE STATES!!! Next Tuesday I will actually be in Thailand!

Second, I've been thinking a lot this past week about various ways I have seen God provide in extravagant ways. Up until several years ago, I never really found myself needing to trust God to provide. I knew He was providing, but it came mostly through my parents. But there comes a point (hopefully) when parents help you depend less and less on them in that area.

The first time I experienced this was a mission trip I took my last year at Baylor. This was the first time I remember my parents saying about something this big, "You can do this, but we aren't going to bail you out." That was good for me because it meant that I had to trust God to bail me out. That semester I encountered amazing provision (some of that probably coming from people reading this blog!). My favorite story, though, was after I had reached my goal I had this desire to get a little extra cash for things I wanted to take on the tip and for souvenirs. So I prayed. I just asked God to provide about $250 for me to get these things. No joke, the next morning I got a call about 7:30 am from our Director of Bands at Baylor asking me if I would be interested in going to Abilene Christian University to play the contrabassoon (if you don't know what that is, please do yourself a favor and look it up) for a concert. They were going to pay me, you guessed it, $250. Not only did God provide, but he did it in a fun way- I was invited to go do something I loved. It was above and beyond anything I expected.

Another fun story was when I was doing my discipleship training school. I had tuition due for the school that I did not have. I started to pray and ask God what He would have me do for this. His answer? He wanted me to watch Him provide and trust Him. To me this is a key part in the process of trusting God for provision. Not only do we trust that He will provide, but we partner with Him to see what part we are to play in the provision. The Old Testament is filled with stories of battles that the Israelites one. We look at those stories and see how God delivered them in amazing ways. But if you notice, God also gave them very specific instructions each time.

Walk around this wall...

Hold up your arms...

Take the loot...

Don't take the loot...

Take only 300 men...

God miraculously won the battle each time, but He didn't just ask His people to sit back and watch Him do it. He invited them into the process and each time His instructions looked a little different. Why? I think because He was testing their obedience and faith.

Sometimes God opens doors of provision for us through jobs. Other times He might use people. And other times it just seems nearly impossible how it happened. The important thing is asking Him what part you are to play. During the training school I did not want to assume that God's provision would look the way I thought it would. Once I prayed, I got a strong sense that this was a time where I was supposed to just wait on Him. I thought at times, should I get another job? sell some stuff? anything? But I kept sensing that God wanted me to wait this time and stand in faith. And do you know what happened? A week or so before the deadline it was announced in front of our class that someone had anonymously donated $3,000 to me which covered the rest of my tuition AND part of my spring outreach. It was incredible and such a testament.

I think what I love about those stories is that there was a process of connecting with God each time. Standing on the promise of God each time boosts my faith and makes me depend on Him more and more. Imagine if I just knew God would magically provide everything like a genie. I wouldn't need to reach out to Him for any of my needs, I would just know it would be there. He promises provision and to do above and beyond what we can ask or think. But we so miss out on an amazing encounter with God if we don't take the time to seek Him through the process to see what our part is to play in that.

Hopefully my stories boost your faith. I also want to say that as of yesterday I have reached my financial goal that we set for before I leave!! This is amazing!! Thank you everyone for your prayers and support. I do still have a little bit to raise once I'm there so if you ever wonder if you can still give, the answer is absolutely yes.

Until the next #ThailandTuesday that will actually be from Thailand...

#ThailandTuesday: Remembering the Mission

Life is hectic.

There is a lot to do.

So far this year I decided to move to Thailand, have been raising support, moved twice and am about to move again, graduated from Baylor with my Masters in Social Work, and have continued to teach lessons and babysit for work.

I don't say all that to try and brag. There is just a lot to do.

In the midst of doing a lot, our focus can become too narrow. We start thinking our days are supposed to be filled with endless activity and to-do lists. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing necessarily wrong with the things we fill our days with. I don't know if it's just me but I can often forget why I am doing those things in the first place.

This past Sunday at church I was sent out and prayed over during our services.

Now, I'm gonna get real with you. This summer I haven't been so faithful about being in church every Sunday or spending set aside time with God every single day. And that's OK, I mean, I'm not trying to be legalistic by saying going to church every week is your indicator of how you are doing spiritually. But I've been busy. There is a lot to do. 

This past Sunday we also sang the Elevation Worship version of "Blessed Assurance." It has the same  text as the original hymn, but with an added bridge. 

"Oh what a Savior

Wonderful Jesus

Death could not hold You

You are victorious

Praise to the risen King"

It just repeats that over and over. Simple. Profound. Truth. 

What an amazing reminder. 

We talk about mission often; we have a job to do. But I think we sometimes forget that before we were given a mission, God had a mission. 

Jesus.

We have been rescued, redeemed, loved. And it came with a price. It has taken me years to even begin to scratch the surface of what that price meant. I think as I was growing up I heard that Jesus died for me so much that I almost felt like it was His duty to die for me. But as I've gotten older, I've realized how much I really don't deserve it- how much the world really doesn't deserve it. 

But scratching the surface on that reality is what begins to spark a fire in me about sharing that reality with others. It doesn't have to be our duty or to-do list. It can be our joy and delight. 

As I prepare to go, I want to keep this at the forefront of my mind. And it's something I hope you will remember as well. You don't have to go far away to understand this reality and share it with others. It can happen anytime, any place, and with anyone. 

Be encouraged today, friends. We have a Savior, Wonderful Jesus. Death could not hold Him and He is victorious. 

  

#ThailandTuesday: 40 Days

40.

The number of years the Israelites wandered in the desert.

The number of days Jesus fasted and prayed.

The number of days until I move to Thailand.

It's getting so close.

I have my passport, visa, and ticket.

I still need to pack and finish support raising.

In the midst of so many things, there is such a temptation to focus on all the things to do and completely forget the things God wants to do- right now. God isn't waiting for me to get to Thailand. He has something for me today. And you know way, He has something for you today too. I'm remembered of these Jon Foreman lyrics, "Why do I worry? Why do I freak out? God knows what I need, He knows what I need."

Thank You God that you meet us where we are everyday. Thank You for your provisions in our lives. Thank You for the sweetness of Your friendship today.

Take time today to pause and pay attention to who God is and what He is doing. He is more than we could ever ask or think and He is enough for us.

Important Update!!

Hey everyone!!

I have some important information regarding where I am in the process of going to Thailand.

1. I leave on August 10!

2. We are currently deciding on whether or not I can fully commit to 2 full years at this time. Why are we deciding this? Because so far I do not have the funds (one time gifts and monthly commitments) to stay for 2 years. My sending organization asks that all funds be either committed or in the account before I go. As it is right now I am getting close to having enough to go for one full year (78% of what I need). I am at about 40% for two full years. We are also looking into if there is a possibility for me to go for one year and continue to raise support during the first year for the second year. The deadline for making this decision is 3 weeks from today. 

Here is how you can pray/respond:

• pray that God's will would be done for how long I am supposed to stay in Thailand for this first time around (I might want to go longer... which is another process with my sending organization).
• Pray for full provision
• Pray about jumping in with the financial support team... even if you aren't in a place now but think you might want to in January or next summer, please communicate that with me.

Also... I am picking these up today to send out! If you don't think I have your address and you want one, please email me (klight@quikmail.org).

Love and blessings!!

#ThailandTuesday: Fun Video!!

Hey everyone!

I wanted to share a video with all of you that some of the folks in Thailand made for me. It gives you a glimpse of what the school feels like and what the students are like. I think it is so cool to hear where all of these students are from and what their families are doing... and I get an opportunity to teach here and I'm sure they will teach me a lot as well!

To be honest, I don't like asking for money. I feel like people must be tired of hearing about it. But this is the season I am in- a season of raising a support team. I believe in what God has called me to do and everyone is invited to invest in some way (prayer, encouragement, finances, etc). The question now is, would you seriously pray about investing financially? In order to fulfill a 2 year commitment, I still need about $23,000 (about $1,000/month). Here's the thing, every bit matters, even if it is $5 or $100 a month or a one time gift.

I'm leaving in 54 days. Will you respond to this invitation?

Even if you can't give now but think you might be able to in the next 2 years then please, let me know. I can count that in toward my total!

As always, thank you all for the love and support many of you have shown. If we haven't connected yet, I would love to! Feel free to email me.

Blessings,
Kassie

#ThailandTuesday: a season of faith and "see ya later"

At the end of May I went back to my home state of California to spend some time with friends and family before moving to Thailand.

It is a surreal thing, saying goodbye for an indefinite amount of time. "Bye gramma and grampa, hopefully see you in 2 years." I know the world is getting smaller and it's easier to travel, but there is something about saying goodbye and setting off on a new adventure into what seems like a great unknown.

Just wondering if there is anyone else out there who says "see you later" more than "goodbye." I say "see you later" to almost complete strangers or people that I might not ever see again. I don't know if it is me trying to be hopeful or just avoiding the finality of an ending.

Anyway, it is just an interesting season of saying "see you later to so many friends and family.

It is also such a season of faith. I don't think I imagined the process going quite like this. For one, I imagined the support raising process to go a lot faster than it has. I had hoped to be almost done by now. But here I am, 4 months in and 2 months away from leaving and I am at 25% of my monthly support. That has been a place for me to really rely on God. It's almost like I had this idea of, "ok God, I got this..l here is my plan and here is how it will go and I trust You and everything but I'm putting my hope in this plan that I have in mind. " And then when my plans don't work I jump to thinking that I need to work harder or repent for something I must be doing wrong. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for everyone who has given so far, but there is still a ways to go.

This past weekend I was watching veggie tales and the story of George Mueller came on. It was so simple- a man called by God to look after England's orphans who just daily trusted God to meet every need, not just for himself but for all of those he cared for. We are called to be diligent and work hard, but we are kidding ourselves if we think that that alone will sustain us. God is our provider. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him. I was convicted and I repent of anytime I tried to depend on my own understanding through this process.

I am called to simply trust and obey (for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey).

Blessings to you all, and as always, feel free to contact me at any time!

#ThailandTuesday: Meaning in the Mundane

I would guess that most people want their lives to be meaningful and that people define meaning in many different ways. Meaning could imply success, money, career, making a difference, relationships, etc. From a young age I was driven to have my life matter for something. I wanted to go on big adventures and change the world and I believe I have already several of those opportunities.

Here is what I have learned, though:
If we can't learn to be content in the present adventure of life, then we will never be fully satisfied by the anticipation of the next big adventure.

It is the concept of practicing presence. I have struggled with this my whole life. I want to live for the idea of the next big adventure and often end up missing the adventure that I am currently in.

"Oh how I want to be in some far off place doing something exciting and changing the world... I want to see people rescued from human trafficking or adopted into families or come to know Jesus..."

But today I am just running errands, having lunch with a friend, working, and watching TV with my family. That doesn't feel like changing the world.

I have this theory that when we get to heaven, God is going to show us all the small ways our lives mattered when we didn't even know it. I think about it like the butterfly effect. Who knows when a moment can change eternity?

Practicing presence is practicing trust. It is trusting that God is ever present in my day to day life- even in the mundane. He is not just present at the revival or when we are praying or sharing the gospel or at church. He is working and moving in ways we cannot even begin to understand in this life.

It can be a struggle to find meaning in day to day activities like going to the grocery store or changing diapers or working a job that is not your dream job. But I want to challenge us to continue to press in to those moments and trust that God is in them, somewhere. We have to become aware to do this. We have to take moments to pause and breathe and stop thinking about the next big adventure or what we wish could be.

As I prepare to go to Thailand, I am reminded of this. Am I excited about what I will be doing? Of course I am. But, I don't want to miss what is happening today and that is tempting. But I know that if I don't learn how to be present now, then I won't be able to be present in Thailand either. I will keep thinking about what is next. For me, it often takes a lot of discipline to be present. Maybe for you, it is easy. Maybe for you, it is hard to dream and think about the future. But either way, our lives can be meaningful right now.

Pause.

Breathe.

Selah.

#ThailandTuesday: Life Update

Hey everyone!

I thought I'd take some time just to update everyone on what I'm doing right now with this process.

Many of you know that for the past two years I have been working on my masters in social work. Last week I completed my last big assignment (a colloquium presentation!) and I will be walking the stage this Saturday at 9:30 am! You are welcome to attend graduation if you are in Waco (at the Ferrell Center) or watch it online. 

It is a strange thing to close this chapter at Baylor after 9 years living in Waco. I would have never guessed that this would have been my path when I started my freshman year in 2006 but it has been the best journey. Baylor will always be so dear to my heart and the things I've learned and people I've met will always be a part of me. 

In the midst of finishing my MSW, I have also been working hard to prepare for Thailand. What does it look like to prepare to move to a different country? It looks like finding a place to live (which I have), going through the Visa process, deciding what to pack, getting an international driver's license, beginning to get ideas for the classes I might be teaching, and... team building, aka- support raising.

Over the last several months I have been raising support to move to Thailand. What does that mean? That means that I have to raise all the money I am going to need for everything over the next two years. Sound overwhelming? It can be. Then I take a step back and remember that God whispers the word, "Trust." It is not the easiest thing in the world to go ask people for money, and yet, money is needed (I'm not half way there yet but we still have plenty of time- God's got it!)

I will say that the biggest joy of this support raising process is connecting with friends and making new ones. Every time I talk to people about raising support I emphasize the concept of "team." Everybody is in. My victories are your victories. My stories are your stories. Everybody has something to offer. I look at my team already and go, whoah, there are my encouragers, there are my prayer warriors, there are networkers, there are my counselors, and there are my friends. I am seriously blown away and blessed.

I don't want to make this post about giving money. But I do want to ask, have you prayed about joining the team in some way? Do you believe in this mission and vision and want to jump in with me and what God is doing?

Maybe you say, I want to pray every day or once a week. Great! I really need that. Get on the prayer team.

Maybe you say, I am a good encourager. Awesome! Please send me encouragement!

Maybe you say, I have financial resources. Hallelujah! Please give.

And please let me know how I can be praying for you as well!


Be blessed, friends.

#ThailandTuesday: Strike up the Band

I have some fun news! We have been talking about the possibility of starting a band at CRICS!

This would be a lot of work but very rewarding for many reasons and here's why:

1. It's something I've wanted to do for a very long time. It's one of those dreams that I have felt like has been put on hold and now it's being given back to me.

2. Missionaries sacrifice a lot for their families and sometimes that means having quality music education. I'm excited about the possibility of serving the students, families, and school in this way. Music is such a gift.

3. Music can be used in so many ways. It can connect with people in ways words can't. It can be used in worship and to glorify God. It develops skills far beyond learning an instrument.

This past week I also had the chance to attend a Baylor Wind Ensemble concert and I got to hear some of my favorite composers and pieces. It was a gift to hear quality music that I love. I can't wait to see how God uses my music education in Thailand!

Want to partner with me? join the team! I'm in the process of raising support and am currently at 15%. Your investment serves the people of Thailand as well as these students and their families. For example, your investment helps these students have quality music education. Click on the link above about how to join the support team or email me at klight@quikmail.org.

#ThailandTuesday: The Cost and Reward of Obedience, Pt. 2

Last week I wrote about my journey into youth ministry and how God led me to say goodbye to college ministry for the promise of something greater (for me). This week I want to talk about dealing with disappointment. I think it's one thing to have time to prepare for transition and choose to say goodbye to people, things, and dreams. That doesn't mean you might not grieve leaving them behind, but what about times when it feels like it is taken from you unexpectedly? You don't get the job you thought you were going to get, or get to do the thing you were really hoping to do, or something you love breaks unexpectedly or is lost,  or someone close to you gets sick all of a sudden with a life-threatening illness.

I want to acknowledge that I do not think I have experienced anything extremely traumatic in my life; what I have experienced, though, is disappointment. However, looking back, I can see how those moments of disappointment led me to even greater promises from God. Remember Joseph? He had dreams from God- literally. But before those dreams came true, God took him through a lot of disappointment. Life was not fair to Joseph. He was betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery and then thrown into prison for something he didn't do. But in the end, he ended saving countless lives. God had a bigger plan.

Back when I was a sophomore and junior in college I was auditioning to be drum major in the band, auditioning to be a worship leader at the church I was going to at the time, and running for a particular office in my sorority. I felt so sure that I was going to get one of those things and I was going to be able to fulfill God's purpose in my life in that season and reach out to a lot of people. After the first "no," I thought, "That's OK! It'll be the next one then." It went on like that until I had received the news for all three- nothing. I was so disappointed. What was my purpose now? I felt like I had nothing to give since I was so sure my place of giving had to be in one of those places. I was also mad at God for letting me down.

The next year I almost didn't do the marching band, but I did. It was one of the only years I was not on the leadership team in the band. The year before I had been a section leader but this year I just decided to play the alto saxophone because that section looked fun. It was through that experience that I met a few people who would later become part of my first lifegroup at Antioch. One of my friends invited me to come to World Mandate and even surprised me by having his lifegroup pay for it. I was amazed by the generosity of strangers. I went to my first World Mandate in January of 2009 and I was hooked. I was amazed by the way people related to each other and worshiped God- it seemed so authentic and like something I was desperately missing and needing.

The next year I jumped into the college ministry and my life would never be the same. That year was the year I started to experience true freedom and community for the first time (another story for another post).

My College Lifegroup at Antioch

Since then I have had other disappointing moments. But I always look back at this one to say, God must have something better. I look back and think, if I had been drum major or become more involved at my other church by being a worship leader I probably would have never come to Antioch and I would probably not be experiencing the depth of relationship I have with God and others or be going to Thailand. Maybe I could... only God knows. But this is the way He chose to do it.

Some of my other major disappointing moments include:
*Trying to move to North Africa to join a long term team from Antioch. I felt peaceful about moving forward and after my interview they came to me and said, we feel like God is saying, "Not yet." That "not yet" led me to stay in Waco and get my Masters in Social Work. I would not be graduating in a month with my MSW if I had gone to North Africa.
*Going through the process of moving to India next year to work with International Justice Mission (IJM). I had prayed about it and gone through every step- application, initial interview, second interview. At the end of the process, they came back and said that they did not have a position for me. The very same day that I found out this news was the very same day I had a professor say to me, "Hey, what about teaching in Thailand? ...I have friends who run a school there."

There are other moments like these, but these stand out to me as moments when I felt completely lost and disappointed by the rejection. It made me feel insecure about my calling and gifts. But each time God would bring me back and show me how it really is not about my abilities and what other people think (several times through these experiences I thought, what must they think about me to say no?). It really is about Him.

Following and obeying Jesus has cost me my pride, image, and things I wanted to do in the moment. But the reward has been being able to see the goodness and faithfulness of God- He will get all the credit and all the glory and I trust Him to write the best story!

I hope this encourages you today. I don't know where you are at in life, what kind of disappointments you have faced. Mine might seem small in comparison to yours. But I think the heart of God is still the same. He cares, He really does. And He doesn't like to see us hurting, but He always sees the big picture.

#Thailand Tuesday: The Cost and Reward of Obedience, Pt. 1

I have been reflecting a lot over the last few months about all the steps it has taken to get to this point in my life. There are several times when I was making a choice to go one way or another and I would pray to ask God for direction. I would sense Him say one thing, not sure where it would ultimately lead me. 

This week I'm blogging about that journey into youth ministry and where that has taken me. Exactly 5 years ago I was sitting in church, wondering what God had in store for me that summer. I had been trying to make arrangements to spend the summer in Kenya, but that fell through. I was really disappointed and wondering how I would make use of that time. That Sunday in church, our pastor was making announcements about opportunities to serve in the summer and being a youth lifegroup leader was one of them. I thought, Oh that would be fun for the summer! I put my name down and later that week I got an email from our junior high youth pastor (who would later become a dear friend and mentor). 

I soon realized that jumping into youth ministry was ideally committing for at least a year, not just a summer. I was stuck. I was about to enter my last year at Baylor and knew my schedule was already overloaded. I began to pray and felt like God said He would take care of my schedule. 

Then I learned that moving into youth ministry meant leaving my college lifegroup. This was hard news because I had just started really getting connected to the college ministry and was being discipled by one of our college lifegroup leaders. This was my family and I was just getting used to it. I didn't want to give it up. I prayed for about a month about this decision and asked others to pray with me. In the end we all felt like what I needed to do was leave the college ministry to jump in with the junior high ministry. I had no idea what was in store. 

My first Junior High girls lifegroup. Here they are 7th graders and they are now juniors in High School!

It has now been 5 years since then. Doing youth ministry has been both challenging and rewarding. I've been challenged in my leadership and in how I relate to others. I had to grow in my security as a leader and fight through thoughts like, "I'm not the favorite leader" or "They are more gifted than I am" or "People like them more." I would also say that I have grown in my enjoyment of this age group. I used to do it because I wanted to invest and make a difference, now I also do it because I really enjoy being with students and consider them my friends.

Silly Picture on our Mission Trip this Past March

At the time, I felt like it was a heavy cost to leave the college ministry. God had been doing so many cool things and I didn't know what community would be like in the youth ministry. But because of that step of faith and obedience, I can now say that I have the richest community I have ever known. I have friends who will be friends forever. Because of being in youth ministry I have gotten to know so many more families in our church and it actually made me feel more connected to our church than if I had probably stayed in the college ministry. 

What does this have to do with Thailand? Well, everything. See, I probably would not have gone to Thailand the first time to work with the kids and youth if I hadn't been working with the youth ministry and kids already at church. It was through that first trip to Thailand that I met the 2 families that I will be working with in Chiang Rai. My 5 years of youth experience is also going to benefit many in Thailand as well. We are already talking about how I can invest in the youth group there and disciple students. I now also have tons of awesome games to take with me as well! I know I will still have a lot to learn when I go to Thailand, but I can't help but be thankful that I made that decision 5 years ago to step out in faith and leave something behind, not sure of what I would be taking hold of except a promise from God to be with me.

#ThailandTuesday: Do you have a heart for adoption?

What does this picture do to your heart?

What about this?

These are pictures of children I have met around the world. It seems that our American culture likes to see pictures of children and poverty because we like to feel empathetic. We get stirred up and think, oh my, how sad. People often show sad pictures or videos to get people to feel a certain way so that they will respond. But then after it's over, people go back to their normal lives.

It is no secret that issues such as poverty are very complicated. Poverty cannot be fixed by giving people money. Similarly, orphans would not cease to exist just because people all of a sudden decide to adopt them all. There are complicated problems that contribute to these issues. Well, that's discouraging... so what can be done?

Well, even though these issues are complicated, adoption can be a beautiful way to help children and need. I should know because I was adopted myself.

However, international adoption is extremely complicated. It takes years to go through the process and is extremely expensive. It takes a special person to be able to stick it out through that process. And then things don't get easier once the child is with the family. There is often trauma and attachment issues the child might have. Sometimes parents can't handle the stress of that and try to get rid of the child they just adopted (which is so sad). And then to add to all of that, public policy can make the adoption process tough as well and many parents get "stuck" in the adoption process (see the video below).

 

So why am I spending the time writing about all of this? Well, social work is one of the professions that helps parents through the adoption process and I am graduating in a month with my Masters in Social Work (MSW)! Social workers help by educating the community and parents about adoption, conducting home visits, and providing all the services required by law to adopt. As I get ready to move to Thailand, I have heard that there is a need to help some foreign families who live in Thailand who are trying to adopt Thai children. One of the ways I could help is by conducting the required home studies and help educate the families on the adoption process and what they can expect. This is a practical step that would hopefully speed up the process for these families and help them get "unstuck". 

So, guess what?! You have the opportunity to invest in that process through prayer and financial giving. I can't conduct home studies if I'm not there and I can't go unless I have the financial means. While this is not the primary reason that I am going to Thailand, I do think it is an amazing opportunity to see God place the lonely into families!! Let me know if you want to be a part of that as well!

Here's another beautiful video about adoption :)

#ThailandTuesday: The Beauty of Thailand

One thing that I am looking forward to as I move to Thailand is how BEAUTIFUL it is- from mountains to beautiful beaches to rainforests and jungles. Beaches and the color green are some of my love languages. Just take a look at some of the beauty. And anyone is welcome to come visit any time :)

Picture I took in January 2014

Thai Beach- Picture taken from the internet :)

Picture I took in Thailand

Picture I took in Thailand

Mountains in Thailand- Taken from the Internet :)

#Thailand Tuesday: New Community

"Wow, it must be hard leaving everyone behind to move so far away..."

Transition has its pros and cons. A lot of times you are letting go of something while you are grabbing hold of something else.

Saying "yes" to moving to Thailand is letting go of a lot. I am going to be leaving behind the community I have so grown to love over the last several years. My church family and lifegroup has meant so much to me. My Baylor community has been amazing. My students and their families have been so great. And my family has been so supportive. I am going to miss them a lot.

To help with this transition, God has started to provide me with an awesome community in Thailand. I already knew two of the families connected to our church that live in Thailand because of going to Thailand last year. But what has been fun has been getting to know others connected to CRICS (the school) through Facebook. I feel like I already have so many friends there, even though I have never met many of them face to face. I am so thankful that God is providing such a gift as I move halfway around the world. I can't wait to get to know this new family more and learn from them- such a wealth of diversity and experiences.

For those of you I'm saying goodbye to- know that I appreciate and love you so much. And guess what? We have so many ways to stay connected while I'm gone- newsletters, prayer updates, and social media.

I also want to say that while I need community support, I also need financial support. I am currently at 5% of my monthly support for moving to Thailand. I need to be at 80% before I can buy a plane ticket. Every little bit helps. Would you consider/pray about partnering with me in this way? It not only benefits me, but it will benefit multiple students and families in Thailand as I go to teach and serve. You can head over to the giving page for more instructions or you can send me an email if you would like more information.

For those of you already in Thailand- know that I am so thankful for you as well and look forward to being together soon!

Blessings to all!

#ThailandTuesday: Thai Alphabet

Today's blog post is brought to you by...
The Thai Alphabet!

In all my spare time I'm trying to work on learning the Thai alphabet. And how am I doing this by myself? Well, thanks to modern technology I'm doing it all through my iPad and YouTube! I found a great app that allows you to trace the alphabet. Once I got the hang of it, I started to put it down on paper. They are really tricky!

I also enjoy watching YouTube videos like the one below:

#ThailandTuesday

I am going to be doing a thing called #ThailandTuesday where I will be posting things about my journey to move to Thailand as well as things that I am looking forward to/thankful for.

Here is a little update-
1. I move to Thailand in 5 months!!! (August 2015)
2. I am currently at 5% support which is awesome since I just started raising support to go. I need to be at 80% funded to be able to buy a plane ticket. Want to learn more about joining the team? Click on the "Instructions on How to Give/Join the Team" link!! Every little bit helps.

What is something I am looking forward to as I move to Thailand? I am looking forward to...

       Thai Food!!!!

         
What else am I doing right now? Well, I am finishing up my Masters in Social Work right now at Baylor and will graduate in May!! I am also continuing to teach private lessons and lead in the junior high ministry.

Some other news... I am moving in a month! I am moving in with my parents to help save money. Please be praying for this transition just because moving and packing can be stressful at any time, but right now I am right at the end of finishing my masters and so there is a lot to do!

I have also begun looking at housing options in my new city and connecting with people on Facebook who will be a part of my new community!

Thankful for each of you!!

Welcome to My Blog!!

Hey everyone! Thanks for stopping by. On this blog you will hopefully find out about my journey to move to Thailand and how you can be a part!

I will be posting regular updates as I prepare to go in August and then continue to provide updates while I'm there!

Right now I am beginning the support raising process. I am currently 5% funded and need to be at 80% before I can buy a plane ticket. That is about $1,900/month. For perspective- if 190 people gave at least $10 a month, I would be fully funded!  Every little bit counts! Would you start thinking about supporting me in this way?

What would you be investing in?
-Students and families at Chiang Rai International Christian School where I will be teaching.
-Unreached people in Thailand and surrounding countries
-Other  missionaries in Thailand
-Me being able to do what I feel God has called me to do.

Hope you enjoy learning more about this exciting opportunity! Contact me or comment if you have any questions!

I'm Moving to Thailand!!