#ThailandTuesday: Strike up the Band

I have some fun news! We have been talking about the possibility of starting a band at CRICS!

This would be a lot of work but very rewarding for many reasons and here's why:

1. It's something I've wanted to do for a very long time. It's one of those dreams that I have felt like has been put on hold and now it's being given back to me.

2. Missionaries sacrifice a lot for their families and sometimes that means having quality music education. I'm excited about the possibility of serving the students, families, and school in this way. Music is such a gift.

3. Music can be used in so many ways. It can connect with people in ways words can't. It can be used in worship and to glorify God. It develops skills far beyond learning an instrument.

This past week I also had the chance to attend a Baylor Wind Ensemble concert and I got to hear some of my favorite composers and pieces. It was a gift to hear quality music that I love. I can't wait to see how God uses my music education in Thailand!

Want to partner with me? join the team! I'm in the process of raising support and am currently at 15%. Your investment serves the people of Thailand as well as these students and their families. For example, your investment helps these students have quality music education. Click on the link above about how to join the support team or email me at klight@quikmail.org.

#ThailandTuesday: The Cost and Reward of Obedience, Pt. 2

Last week I wrote about my journey into youth ministry and how God led me to say goodbye to college ministry for the promise of something greater (for me). This week I want to talk about dealing with disappointment. I think it's one thing to have time to prepare for transition and choose to say goodbye to people, things, and dreams. That doesn't mean you might not grieve leaving them behind, but what about times when it feels like it is taken from you unexpectedly? You don't get the job you thought you were going to get, or get to do the thing you were really hoping to do, or something you love breaks unexpectedly or is lost,  or someone close to you gets sick all of a sudden with a life-threatening illness.

I want to acknowledge that I do not think I have experienced anything extremely traumatic in my life; what I have experienced, though, is disappointment. However, looking back, I can see how those moments of disappointment led me to even greater promises from God. Remember Joseph? He had dreams from God- literally. But before those dreams came true, God took him through a lot of disappointment. Life was not fair to Joseph. He was betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery and then thrown into prison for something he didn't do. But in the end, he ended saving countless lives. God had a bigger plan.

Back when I was a sophomore and junior in college I was auditioning to be drum major in the band, auditioning to be a worship leader at the church I was going to at the time, and running for a particular office in my sorority. I felt so sure that I was going to get one of those things and I was going to be able to fulfill God's purpose in my life in that season and reach out to a lot of people. After the first "no," I thought, "That's OK! It'll be the next one then." It went on like that until I had received the news for all three- nothing. I was so disappointed. What was my purpose now? I felt like I had nothing to give since I was so sure my place of giving had to be in one of those places. I was also mad at God for letting me down.

The next year I almost didn't do the marching band, but I did. It was one of the only years I was not on the leadership team in the band. The year before I had been a section leader but this year I just decided to play the alto saxophone because that section looked fun. It was through that experience that I met a few people who would later become part of my first lifegroup at Antioch. One of my friends invited me to come to World Mandate and even surprised me by having his lifegroup pay for it. I was amazed by the generosity of strangers. I went to my first World Mandate in January of 2009 and I was hooked. I was amazed by the way people related to each other and worshiped God- it seemed so authentic and like something I was desperately missing and needing.

The next year I jumped into the college ministry and my life would never be the same. That year was the year I started to experience true freedom and community for the first time (another story for another post).

My College Lifegroup at Antioch

Since then I have had other disappointing moments. But I always look back at this one to say, God must have something better. I look back and think, if I had been drum major or become more involved at my other church by being a worship leader I probably would have never come to Antioch and I would probably not be experiencing the depth of relationship I have with God and others or be going to Thailand. Maybe I could... only God knows. But this is the way He chose to do it.

Some of my other major disappointing moments include:
*Trying to move to North Africa to join a long term team from Antioch. I felt peaceful about moving forward and after my interview they came to me and said, we feel like God is saying, "Not yet." That "not yet" led me to stay in Waco and get my Masters in Social Work. I would not be graduating in a month with my MSW if I had gone to North Africa.
*Going through the process of moving to India next year to work with International Justice Mission (IJM). I had prayed about it and gone through every step- application, initial interview, second interview. At the end of the process, they came back and said that they did not have a position for me. The very same day that I found out this news was the very same day I had a professor say to me, "Hey, what about teaching in Thailand? ...I have friends who run a school there."

There are other moments like these, but these stand out to me as moments when I felt completely lost and disappointed by the rejection. It made me feel insecure about my calling and gifts. But each time God would bring me back and show me how it really is not about my abilities and what other people think (several times through these experiences I thought, what must they think about me to say no?). It really is about Him.

Following and obeying Jesus has cost me my pride, image, and things I wanted to do in the moment. But the reward has been being able to see the goodness and faithfulness of God- He will get all the credit and all the glory and I trust Him to write the best story!

I hope this encourages you today. I don't know where you are at in life, what kind of disappointments you have faced. Mine might seem small in comparison to yours. But I think the heart of God is still the same. He cares, He really does. And He doesn't like to see us hurting, but He always sees the big picture.

#Thailand Tuesday: The Cost and Reward of Obedience, Pt. 1

I have been reflecting a lot over the last few months about all the steps it has taken to get to this point in my life. There are several times when I was making a choice to go one way or another and I would pray to ask God for direction. I would sense Him say one thing, not sure where it would ultimately lead me. 

This week I'm blogging about that journey into youth ministry and where that has taken me. Exactly 5 years ago I was sitting in church, wondering what God had in store for me that summer. I had been trying to make arrangements to spend the summer in Kenya, but that fell through. I was really disappointed and wondering how I would make use of that time. That Sunday in church, our pastor was making announcements about opportunities to serve in the summer and being a youth lifegroup leader was one of them. I thought, Oh that would be fun for the summer! I put my name down and later that week I got an email from our junior high youth pastor (who would later become a dear friend and mentor). 

I soon realized that jumping into youth ministry was ideally committing for at least a year, not just a summer. I was stuck. I was about to enter my last year at Baylor and knew my schedule was already overloaded. I began to pray and felt like God said He would take care of my schedule. 

Then I learned that moving into youth ministry meant leaving my college lifegroup. This was hard news because I had just started really getting connected to the college ministry and was being discipled by one of our college lifegroup leaders. This was my family and I was just getting used to it. I didn't want to give it up. I prayed for about a month about this decision and asked others to pray with me. In the end we all felt like what I needed to do was leave the college ministry to jump in with the junior high ministry. I had no idea what was in store. 

My first Junior High girls lifegroup. Here they are 7th graders and they are now juniors in High School!

It has now been 5 years since then. Doing youth ministry has been both challenging and rewarding. I've been challenged in my leadership and in how I relate to others. I had to grow in my security as a leader and fight through thoughts like, "I'm not the favorite leader" or "They are more gifted than I am" or "People like them more." I would also say that I have grown in my enjoyment of this age group. I used to do it because I wanted to invest and make a difference, now I also do it because I really enjoy being with students and consider them my friends.

Silly Picture on our Mission Trip this Past March

At the time, I felt like it was a heavy cost to leave the college ministry. God had been doing so many cool things and I didn't know what community would be like in the youth ministry. But because of that step of faith and obedience, I can now say that I have the richest community I have ever known. I have friends who will be friends forever. Because of being in youth ministry I have gotten to know so many more families in our church and it actually made me feel more connected to our church than if I had probably stayed in the college ministry. 

What does this have to do with Thailand? Well, everything. See, I probably would not have gone to Thailand the first time to work with the kids and youth if I hadn't been working with the youth ministry and kids already at church. It was through that first trip to Thailand that I met the 2 families that I will be working with in Chiang Rai. My 5 years of youth experience is also going to benefit many in Thailand as well. We are already talking about how I can invest in the youth group there and disciple students. I now also have tons of awesome games to take with me as well! I know I will still have a lot to learn when I go to Thailand, but I can't help but be thankful that I made that decision 5 years ago to step out in faith and leave something behind, not sure of what I would be taking hold of except a promise from God to be with me.

#ThailandTuesday: Do you have a heart for adoption?

What does this picture do to your heart?

What about this?

These are pictures of children I have met around the world. It seems that our American culture likes to see pictures of children and poverty because we like to feel empathetic. We get stirred up and think, oh my, how sad. People often show sad pictures or videos to get people to feel a certain way so that they will respond. But then after it's over, people go back to their normal lives.

It is no secret that issues such as poverty are very complicated. Poverty cannot be fixed by giving people money. Similarly, orphans would not cease to exist just because people all of a sudden decide to adopt them all. There are complicated problems that contribute to these issues. Well, that's discouraging... so what can be done?

Well, even though these issues are complicated, adoption can be a beautiful way to help children and need. I should know because I was adopted myself.

However, international adoption is extremely complicated. It takes years to go through the process and is extremely expensive. It takes a special person to be able to stick it out through that process. And then things don't get easier once the child is with the family. There is often trauma and attachment issues the child might have. Sometimes parents can't handle the stress of that and try to get rid of the child they just adopted (which is so sad). And then to add to all of that, public policy can make the adoption process tough as well and many parents get "stuck" in the adoption process (see the video below).

 

So why am I spending the time writing about all of this? Well, social work is one of the professions that helps parents through the adoption process and I am graduating in a month with my Masters in Social Work (MSW)! Social workers help by educating the community and parents about adoption, conducting home visits, and providing all the services required by law to adopt. As I get ready to move to Thailand, I have heard that there is a need to help some foreign families who live in Thailand who are trying to adopt Thai children. One of the ways I could help is by conducting the required home studies and help educate the families on the adoption process and what they can expect. This is a practical step that would hopefully speed up the process for these families and help them get "unstuck". 

So, guess what?! You have the opportunity to invest in that process through prayer and financial giving. I can't conduct home studies if I'm not there and I can't go unless I have the financial means. While this is not the primary reason that I am going to Thailand, I do think it is an amazing opportunity to see God place the lonely into families!! Let me know if you want to be a part of that as well!

Here's another beautiful video about adoption :)